Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
