My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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