we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
