can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
