SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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