My room smells like vodka and shame
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
