i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
