Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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