Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
