well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
