He is like the real live version of the state fair..
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
