Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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