Rock
Scissors
Fuck
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
