You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
