What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
