Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
