did you get engaged???
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
