erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
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