Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
