Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
