Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
