Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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