I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
he shaved USA in his pubs
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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