So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
He had one of those small greek statue penises
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
