also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize