she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Randomize