It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
