What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
