If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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