I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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