That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
