i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Randomize
