When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
