Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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