just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize
