i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
