He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
