thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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