I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
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