yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize
