Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
