What a fucking waste of an outfit
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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