dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Randomize
