i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize