She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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