when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
