hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
