Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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