what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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