Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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