I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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