I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
