Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
