oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
