Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize