dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
