It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
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