i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
