Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
