this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
