I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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