what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
