You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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