see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
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