what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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