chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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