Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
