Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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