your thong is hanging out like whoa
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
MIDGETS
????
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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